doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
