Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
