i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
