At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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