I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
