if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
