a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
