Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
