It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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