Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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