I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
