i think my tv is drunk
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
