i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
