marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
