It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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