In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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