Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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