I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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