So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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