I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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