HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
