Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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