it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
