I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize