Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
