Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
