Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
