Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
