Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
