What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
