We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
