Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
