Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
