the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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