so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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