I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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