barbara walters just said penis...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
