Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
