you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
