Me. At least after what I've been through.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
