Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I need water and some morals
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
