perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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