I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Life is so much better after having sex.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
