And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize