before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
