Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
