I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
