Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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