How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
