Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
