Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
