I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
