Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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