Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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