lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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