is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
