Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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