I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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