So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
