Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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