sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
