woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
