His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
