Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
