I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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