I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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