Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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