i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize