Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
