i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
